


The Only Light For Miles

by lets_get_messi



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Fluff, Frottage, I got a bit heavy on the metaphors sorry, Jealousy, Light Masochism, M/M, PWP without Porn, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, me being fake deep, sorry mom, take me to church plays softly in the distance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-11 00:33:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4413983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lets_get_messi/pseuds/lets_get_messi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron contemplates his affair with Robert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Only Light For Miles

There was something enchanting about Robert Sugden. Something that seemed to play out on a separate frequency to everyone else around him. It was magnificent to watch, to see the lazy smiles riddled with self-importance and superiority, to see the way his jokes would leave the room hanging on his every word and waiting for the punch-line with eager eyes and a grin already tugging at their wine soaked lips.

Aaron thought -in hindsight- it was rather like watching a storm drawing nearer. To see the lightening dance across the horizon, lighting up the sky like the Vegas strip whilst anticipating the downpour it would bring. Sure it was beautiful, a blissful distraction as the thunderous roar was just a grumble in the distance, the clouds dark but oh so far away. 

Aaron would find himself watching the storm with a steady gaze, over the rim of his pint glass as he latched himself onto snippets of a conversation that didn't concern him. Not that he cared much for agricultural talks or wedding plans. But it was hard not to care when Robert Sugden was speaking of such things. Re-wording the mundane into marvels that had Aaron begging to know the finer details. As much as Robert was a majestic prick, he was also a poet. Not many people could see that side of him, the side that was pure and passionate about the details that mattered. The poet who could smile up into a clear night sky and breath in the rural air like he'd just grown fresh lungs. The poet who would run a hand over a car bonnet with a low whistle and a delight that graced the edges of his mouth just enough to express his approval. 

It was intoxicating in a sense, to see that side of him. To be shown that side of him, no less.

Of course the storm found Aaron, it always did, a gun-metal gaze crashing into slate grey waves and Aaron couldn't look away. Couldn't even if he wanted to as Robert drew an uneasy smile from him. Involuntary in all the ways it wasn't. 

Aaron broke their look, swigging at the final dregs of his weak beer as he tried to ignore the stare that still had him pinned from his position across the pub. God, that look was capable of keeping him there, burning in silence with a smile and a nod of thanks at Robert who would stand with the lit match watching Aaron go up in flames.

Fucks sake it had only been a kiss. Just one kiss, laced with a promise of more and soon the promise became a reality and somewhere in the middle of the loathing and the anger sprang a passion that took him straight to the bedsheets, leaving him writhing and exposed like a nerve.

It was useless to try and take away from Rob what he was good at, because God only knew he was good at a lot of things. The poster-boy for the perfect young gentlemen. From sweet-talking clientèle, to convincing his beautiful fiancée that he was interested in women. But the thing Robert was best at was what he could do with his hands. Those strong hands of his, were like heroin that Aaron had no problem indulging in. 

One moment he would ghost those fingers across Aaron's skin, reading his goosebumps like Braille just for the next press to be hard at his throat, constricting his breath just enough to stay on the right side of arousal. 

Aaron arguably liked those moments the most. When his cock would be throbbing against Rob's pale thigh, leaking with the anticipation of it all as Rob would lick a hot stripe across his jawline moaning in appreciation. 

Moaning at the taste. 

Rob had said countless times that he liked how manly Aaron tasted. Even went as far sometimes to say he liked the rawness of it. How Aaron tasted of skin and sweat and oil from some rusty car he was fixing earlier that day. And how he didn't taste of skin products and expensive perfume. Aaron hated how it made him feel superior somehow, like he had some none-existent up on Chrissie. Like it was all just a terrible game and Robert was the host.

The thought of her brought his attention to her. A beautiful dainty face resting on a perfectly manicured hand as she batted her curled lashes at the golden haired man whose arm fit around her fucking perfectly as they sat holed up in a booth in the corner of the room. Fitting perfectly together.

Almost as perfect as how Robert's body fit with Aaron's, the pair grinding hot and messy on a springy mattress, hushing one another between kisses if the groaning got a little too loud. A little too intense for an affair going on when their family was but two walls away.

Aaron had seen enough of their display and with the bitterness of the word 'Affair' clinging to the back of his throat like a bad taste, he dropped down his glass, snatching up his jacket and pulling it on as he threw a thumbs up at his Mum. She just gave him a friendly wave before returning to her hushed conversation with Leyla and Vanessa. Nice to know she trusted him to some extent, Aaron wondered how much that trust could stretch if she knew Robert's fingerprints had bruises pressed into his hipbones. A claim only visible to him.

Aaron had learned that trust was rather like an elastic band. It was pretty durable until it was tested, pull to hard and it'll snap and be rendered useless. But mould it just right and it could bound and keep things together.

He still didn't know how trustworthy he was to Chas, or even how trusting he found her but they were at a place now where it didn't need to be spoken about. Where it didn't have to be a screaming match of who cared the most. Where he could honestly say she was his Mum again.

He didn't bother sending another look at Robert, just left the pub with a push at the door and the wind hit him like a slap to the face. He shuddered, shoulders hunched as he looked at the empty streets.

He liked Emmerdale. Liked the ease of it all. Liked how the cottages still had thatched roofs, that the church was still the village's centre. Liked how he knew every face. Despite that often being a hindrance, he enjoyed it. Liked how it made him feel a part of something. He let his feet lead him, kicking up the gravel of the main road as he crossed up past the café and towards Paddy's house. 

The lights were off, him and Rhona probably too tired from a long day to sit and watch the car crash TV that she loved so much in a home Aaron once called his. He still felt a part of Paddy, felt like he was family. But he didn't feel so welcome in that house any more. Didn't feel like he knew it any more. 

Where the CD player once was now sits a bowl of pot-pourri and a wicker heart that had no use other than décor aesthetics as Paddy had tried to convince him. Where the old TV was now had a flat screen mounted on the wall above a modern fitted fireplace. It was a house that changed with the time it had away from Aaron and he couldn't even be annoyed that it had changed without him. 

He was passed the house, taking a small track passed the vets and towards the fencing that cornered off the field out ahead. He rest his elbows on the sturdy wood. It was dark, the woodland across the field just a mass of dark black even as the remaining lights from the village behind him threw golden rays across the edges of the farmland.

It was nice, serene and he probably knew it couldn't last.

“You busy?” A voice so thick with certainty caught up with him and he didn't even have to turn to know that it was Robert, approaching him with hands in his pockets and a look on his face that would have Aaron on his knees in a heartbeat if he looked long enough.

“Do I look busy?” He replied, voice monotonous as he scratched at the splintered edge of the fencing.

“Just stare into the dark all the time do ya? Thought you might be out here doggin' or somethin'” Robert chuckled, leaning against the fence too, shoulder touching Aaron's who didn't move despite every fibre in his body telling him it would probably be better if he did. But how could he? When the warmth was so inviting? 

“What do you want Robert?” He asked, allowing the shrill call of some bird swooping past them to distract him of the fact that Robert's breath was rolling out hot and gentle on his cheek.

“What's rubbed you up the wrong way?” He asked, voice quiet now, barely a whisper in the darkness and Aaron held tighter at the fence without really meaning too. He was being unfair, blaming Robert for being utterly irresistible didn't stop the fact that Aaron would be back for more. It didn't change their crazy little game of cat and mouse and it certainly didn't make Aaron want to stop.

“Nothing, nothing.” He began sighing and turning to face Robert who was close and flicking his gaze from Aaron's eyes to his mouth. “I'm sorry, I'm just-”

“Just what?” He turned fully into the mechanic then, one hand finding his waist like it was natural and Aaron couldn't even find it in him to hate the fact he pressed into the touch.

“You wanna come back to mine? My Mum's working and Diane isn't in-” He threw a dismissive thumb back towards the pub just to have Robert shake his head, ducking in closer.

Aaron's breath caught in the back of his throat.

“What's wrong with right here?” He breathed, sultry and serious against the shell of Aaron's ear and if the hot tongue licking at his lobe didn't make Aaron shudder, then the hand against his swelling cock did. He stuttered his hips up against the contact, seeking out more just to have Robert pull back with a teasing chuckle.

A chuckle so low it set Aaron's skin on fire.

“Didn't think you had it in ya? You know, to fuck me out in the open.” Aaron said quietly, hands finding their way to Robert's arse, pinching and kneading at the flesh that drew long breathy exhales from the taller man. 

“Oh I have it in me.” He retorted, hand finding it's way back to Aaron's crotch. He let his palm press against the outline of his dick, thumb dancing over the edges as he tilted Aaron's head up towards his own, their mouths but a hair away.

“You want it in ya?” Aaron asked, watching Robert's eyes widen as he nodded enthusiastically. “Come get it then, rich boy.” Aaron smirked colliding with Robert pretty much the same moment the blonde dragged him into a kiss.

They both fell to their knees, the kisses growing messier the more they grabbed and fisted at offending clothing. Robert's nimble fingers fell to Aaron's belt, popping open the button and undoing the zip with an expertise that left the mechanic growling into his mouth. He bit at Robert's plump bottom lip, earning a blissful moan and a skilful hand thrusting into the front of his boxer shorts. 

Aaron bucked into the cold fist, gasping out at the contact around his solid length as he struggled to concentrate on anything other than the feeling that swallowed him whole. Robert was so so good with his hands, Aaron couldn't take that away from him.

“Gonna fuck me into the dirt, Livesy? Make me all filthy?” Robert spoke, kiss down Aaron's neck before sinking his teeth into the flesh. Aaron bucked wilder into the fist in his shorts pushing them down to his knees so his cock and thighs were exposed.

“You're filthy anyway.” Aaron chuckled, hands reaching at Robert's belt until he was pushing down his trousers and underwear in one go, hand finding his perfect cock with ease. And it was perfect, as dicks tended to go. It was big and thick and Aaron wondered momentarily if anyone had ever written an ode to perfect penises. 

The process was one he knew too well now, Robert breaking the kiss to lie himself down as Aaron shoved a hand into his wallet reaching for the two slim packets that he carried around now just in case. Because Robert was unpredictable in his desires. He could strike at any moment, with his pupils blown and his cock hard and ready for Aaron's attention. Be it at midday after church, or at midnight down some dusty dirt track past the vets. 

Aaron's fingers tugged at the lube sachet, spurting some droplets onto his finger tips and rubbing them together as Robert looked at him sat between his thighs with an aroused smirk. Aaron returned the luck, leaning down to drop kisses down Robert's thigh as a finger fluttered over his entrance. The blonde gasped at the sensation, so cold and intimate.

Aaron slowly eased a finger in, groaning himself at the stretch of muscle as it gave way to allow the digit further inside the warmth that made his cock twitch just thinking about it.

“Harder. I wanna feel the burn.” Robert said not for the first time. Aaron did as he asked, fucking his finger in and out and adding a second and a third without consulting the blonde who just groaned. Robert was quiet the masochist from time to time, which wasn't at all surprising knowing the man like he did. Robert liked to be spanked, enjoyed nothing more than to be on his hands and knees on Aaron's springy bed, biting into the pillow as Aaron delivered a serious of blows to the flesh of his arse. It was a beautiful sight, watching the milk skin turn pink under his command and it felt even greater fucking his arse raw afterwards.

“You ready?” Aaron asked, already pushing his jeans and boxers off of one leg ripping the condom open with his teeth and making quick work of it as Robert fucked himself down on his fingers.

“Always.” Robert smirked, hands grabbing at Aaron's waist who pulled his fingers out, lining himself up with the waiting entrance. He looked through his eyelashes at Robert, sinking into him and watching as the blonde's mouth fell open with a soft high-pitched moan.

There was a moment where they didn't move, just stared at one another breathing shallow and quick until Robert nodded, hands fisting at Aaron's t-shirt who began his thrusts deep and slow.

The evening air whipped around them, but nothing could break through the warm bubble that they'd created. Aaron was fucking harder now, cheeks flushed with heat as he worked himself harder and harder into Robert who's moans were like a chorus of angels to Aaron's aroused ears.

“How does it make you feel, hmm? That you were the one who brought Robert Sugden to bat for the other team?” The blonde spoke, tongue licking up Aaron's neck before latching down on the juncture at his shoulder. Aaron's cock felt impossibly harder at that, Rob's tight entrance mind-blowing.

“You're too good to have not done this before.” Aaron complimented truthfully, leaning down to thrust his tongue deep into Robert's mouth, the blonde's hand anchoring himself to the nape of Aaron's neck as he pushed down on the cock that impaled him.

“Not like this.” He said between a series of quick kisses. “Not feeling like this.” Aaron was inclined to tune Robert out when he started talking about himself at times like these but he couldn't help but stay grounded, Rob's legs cool as they tightened around him. Aaron stared into the steely gaze hoping to find some kind of distraction from the depth of the words Robert spoke but he found nothing but glossy sincerity. “No bloke has ever made me feel...” Robert bit back a moan, swallowing it down to finish his sentence. “Like this.”

“Just haven't been having the right blokes then.” Aaron chose to say, rather than to focus on the depth of his words.

“Or hadn't found the right bloke.” Robert said, fingers drifting to ghost over Aaron's jaw. The gaze was too intense, to close to making love than a dirty fuck in the middle of the village so Aaron just snorted, letting his mouth take Rob's finger into the back of his throat, swirling his tongue around the digit as Rob moaned.

“Do you ever stop talkin'?” Aaron said, biting the tip of Robert's finger who bought it to his own mouth, licking up the column and smirking as Aaron growled at the imagery.

“Stop actin' like you don't like it when I talk.”

“I like it when it's dirty, yeah.”

“Oh really?” Robert's hands fisted Aaron's shirt again, finger skittering over a hard nipple. “Like if I was to say pound me harder -fuck.” Aaron smirked, thrusting more erratically into the blonde who arched into the feeling, eyes rolling back as his hands fell scrambling at the grass beneath him. He was desperate for the release, Aaron could tell, could feel his own orgasm ebbing at the shore of his sanity as he bit back a moan and fucked his hips harder into the tight heat of Robert.

Aaron tried not to be too smug when he found that sweet spot inside Robert that caused him to bite down on his own fist. This is how Aaron liked Robert the most, when the cocky exterior was replaced with a shivering wreck of a man, grinding his slim hips down in little figures of eight in an attempt to take more of Aaron that he could give. Aaron liked to watch Rob's body shiver, with every pound against his prostate, to watch the pale expanse of skin break out into goosebumps where it wasn't concealed with whispers of fabric. Aaron wasn't a particularly artistic person, would much prefer to watch TV than to sit down and paint his feelings but it was in this position, between the blonde's thighs where he felt most like an artists before a canvas. And the harder he snapped his hips, the more of a masterpiece he created.

“I'm gonna come, Aaron.” Rob mumbled, words barely audible through his rushed gasps, one hand fixed in his own hair, the other fisted into his mouth as he bit down harder the more Aaron fucked into him through chasing his own orgasm. It was so close, it was teasing him, setting his nerve endings aflame and sparking wild fire beneath his skin. Aaron thought coming was rather like standing on the side of a quarry, to look down and see the rocky floor but the adrenaline was telling him to dive, head first into the feeling to embrace it like it would be the last thing on the damn earth you'd feel.

“Fuck, Robert.” Aaron cried out, dropping his head onto the blonde's chest and biting into his fancy shirt to stop himself crying out. In the middle of a mantra of 'yes' and 'Aaron' Robert came, hot stripes catching on his belly and Aaron's throat, the sensation of it sending Aaron over the edge and into the blissful feeling that started from his gut and spread out like a virus until it reached the tips of his curling toes.

They stayed in silence, just catching up on lost breath and floating down from their collective high. It was a strange place to be with Robert, a place neither truly knew the boundaries of but it was a place Aaron would stay for the rest of eternity given the chance. He sighed, pulling his softening cock from Robert who hissed with a low chuckle. He made swift work of pulling up his boxer shorts and jeans, tucking himself away and doing them up. Aaron threw the condom over the fence, not particularly caring who would find it would no doubt hear aghast whispers from the elderly folk who'd gossip about it, with fuck all else to talk about he thought he'd do them a favour and create the drama they craved. He flopped back down beside Robert once his own jeans were back in place, the blonde throwing a scrunched up tissue behind them and pulling down his shirt with a little huff of breath.

The sky was relatively clear, a few stars twinkling that would only disappear the more he stared at them. This was usually the moment when Robert would look at his watch and climb out of bed, making awkward small talk about the garage until Aaron would be left alone staring at the door that Robert had disappeared from. 

Aaron expected pretty much anything other than the arm that rose between them, Robert looking at Aaron expectantly who craned up his neck with a frown when Robert wrapped the arm around him, elbow bent to allow his fingers to card through the short strands of Aaron's hair.

Cuddling was something Aaron didn't do. He found that it was unnecessary really, not needed. But lying with Robert under a clear sky with his heartbeat slowing, he thought maybe it wasn't so bad. He swallowed thickly, letting his leg tangle with one of Robert's own. The blonde huffed out a chuckle, dropping a gentle kiss to Aaron's temple.

“You're never going to leave her.” Aaron admitted, more to himself than to Robert. The blonde paused, but didn't move away. He didn't grab Aaron by the front of his shirt and scream at him for not understanding, he didn't push him off and walk away. He just swallowed thickly before resuming his slowly hypnotic drag of fingers across the crown of Aaron's head.

“No.” His voice was unreadable and for the first time since Aaron had started trying to understand the storm it stopped raining and left him in the silent aftermath. Cold and saturated. He frowned, eyes focused on the village lights, some doubting as the night drew into the earlier hours of the day and the quiet hum of insects and nocturnal animals came alive around them. 

“I don't want you to leave her.” And Aaron was surprised at how truthful that was. Because he didn't. He wouldn't know how to be Robert's if Robert was solely his. If he had to wash his dinner plates, or listen to him complain about work. Because the Robert he had now left all of that at the bottom of the bed, shedding his responsibilities and self-importance along with his clothes.

“Do you miss Jackson?” Aaron sucked in a breath from the unanticipated blow, felt like the wind had just been knocked clean out of him and in all the ways he wanted to run or punch something he just swallowed. 

Much too aware that he was tired of his own fight.

“Loads.” And it was true. He missed Jackson whenever he heard a song on the radio that reminded him of the other boy, whenever he'd go clubbing in town, purposefully avoiding bar west and the memories that hung there like banners. He missed him whenever he thought about love, whenever he thought about true love even. Because despite how much he loved Jackson, a part of him felt guilty that it never really was true.

Just love.

“I bet he was a beautiful bloke.”

“He was.” Aaron answered, wondering when this conversation with Rob was going to get awkward, if it ever would. Rob pulled him a fraction closer and Aaron's eyes fluttered shut at the comfort in that touch alone that flooded him in waves.

“I'm sorry.” His voice was low, with Aaron's face pressed against his chest, the words vibrating through his bones as Aaron waited for more. “For, your loss.” They never spoke about Jackson, Aaron mentioned it briefly and knew no doubt that Victoria had filled in the missing parts of the story but Rob never pushed, nor did he spit it back in Aaron's face like the vile bloke he knew Rob could be deep down.

“No you're not.” He said softly, letting his fingers dance across the folds of Robert's hideous choice of shirt.

“I didn't know Jackson.” Robert said easily, letting his own fingers lace with Aaron's thumb smoothing over the calloused hands of hard work. “But he made you happy. And I'm-” Aaron was too busy focusing on the soft touches from his hair and hand that was lulling him into a comfort that should have felt out of place in the dark night, on some dusty track beside an open field. “I'm sorry you had to lose someone so important to you.”

“I'll find Jackson again some day, in someone else. A part of him, you know. That initial spark that attracted me to him. I'll find that in another bloke, no doubt.” He had told himself those exact words since Jackson's death. Heard it from his Mum and Paddy and even some of the nosier villagers that thought they were doing a good deed. But the words were true, he would. 

“Maybe-” Robert cut himself off, but the implication hung thick in the air anyway. Mounting the tension between them like he had spoken the words out loud.

Maybe you already have.

“Maybe.” Aaron responded, lifting his head off Robert's chest to find a gun-metal stare already pointing at him, feather-light fingers reaching up to dance down the two day stubble of his face before a smooth thumb ran across his plump bottom lip.

The moonlight stretched over Robert's face in hues of blue and grey. Shadows sculpting down his cheekbones until he looked made of marble. It was haunting, how someone so dangerous could be so beautiful. A beautiful kind of danger like a shark cruising through deep oceans, a serene swim that could end in blood if the wrong move was made. But he was beautiful and Aaron allowed himself a moment of enjoyment until Robert broke their gaze to a swift look down at his fancy Rolex.

“It's getting late.” He said making no attempt to move like he usually did. Instead he looked up at Aaron who pouted thoughtfully.

“Or early. Depends how you look at it.” They both shared a brief laugh before Robert pushed himself up onto his elbows so that their noses were touching, bucking lightly against one another as their lips brushed faintly.

“Yeah, but I really should be getting back.” He dropped a kiss to the corner of Aaron's mouth, then another and another until their kiss was languid and slow. Tongues teasing at the edges of mouths until Aaron pulled away with a sigh.

“Yeah I know. She'll worry about you.”

They stood up in silence, adjusting themselves as the whisper of clothes got lost along the breeze that blew by until Robert was planting a departing kiss on Aaron's waiting mouth, before taking several steps back.

He had a way of leaving, a way that Aaron knew like clock work now. A swagger in his step, a last attempt at hip swaying to remind Aaron what he was missing, and always a look back over his shoulder.

Aaron swallowed thick before he could reach that last step.

“Rob.” Aaron called, watching the blonde turn back to him with an enquiring look and if time stood still during that look alone then Aaron let himself indulge in it. Let himself soak in the lazy smile, the brow knitted only slightly in question, the nimble fingers frozen in their path to doing up his jacket. Aaron snorted out a laugh at the grass in Robert's hair, no doubt it would be gone to the wind by the time he made it to Home Farm. Robert didn't leave a trace to allude to anything. “Goodnight.” He said and for a moment or two, Robert didn't reply.

He smiled, tender and gentle and it was enough to leave Aaron wanting to flee and never return and run over and kiss the fool all at once. But instead he stayed, watching those hands sneak back into the pockets of his well tailored trousers.

“Goodnight Livesy.” And then he was turning away and Aaron watched him go until he merged with the rest of the shadows of the village, despite Aaron believing he was the only light for miles.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't write summaries so thanks if you've got this far.
> 
> ~*~ Follow for more soft robron ~*~
> 
> doncasterlyrock.tumblr.com


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